would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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