i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
