I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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