Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
