I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
