She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
