There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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