so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize