it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
