so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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