Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
