this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
