he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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