sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
