What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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