All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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