Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
