We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
