I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
