I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
