Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
