He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
