So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
