hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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