Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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