dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I puked a lego.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
