very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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