I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
