I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize