hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I can text with my tongue
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
