And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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