And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Barsexuality is the new black.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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