I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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