i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
