ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
