Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
