i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
