I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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