my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
