i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize