Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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