Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
