I am puke
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
