He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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