I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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