Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
