I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
