yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
