I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
