Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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