those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
