I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
So much Jack, so little girl.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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