How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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