I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
did i walk over a car last night?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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