Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
