She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
