I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
third nipple confirmed
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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