words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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