U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
