Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
should my penis look like a turkey
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
