glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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