i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize