I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
