I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
