So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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