I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
