This girl is more easily done than said...
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
