I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
