I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
